Love in our 30’s!!
We love because He first loved us. I John 4:19
A good friend once said to me that if I could just finish my college degree, so many things would fall into place. He was right!! When I graduated from Bible college in 2000, I received my call to foreign missions, went to Brazil as a short-term missionary teacher for a year and met my husband, Brian Gladu!
I met Brian at a church in Williston, VT while raising financial support to go to Brazil as a short-term missionary teacher. His church asked me to sing the special music that particular Sunday, and I also played my French horn during the offertory.
“I thought, What a beautiful lady! Some man is fortunate to have her as his wife.”
Brian Gladu
Then the pastor introduced me before I sang the solo as “Miss Laura Blanchflower” and Brian was incredulous! That was on July 9, 2000. Brian prayed during the service that we would have an opportunity to meet. The man who led Brian to the Lord and his wife always celebrated Brian’s birthday which was on July 8th. I was staying with some older, godly, mutual friends. That dear wife told me then that she had been praying for me every day since she met me in Connecticut in 1989 after I was discharged from the Navy!
Brian asked my friends if we might all come to his birthday party that Sunday evening in which we had a brief opportunity to talk. He had a votive candle on his cake and when he went to blow it out, wax went all over his face, but he was nonplussed. The fact that he didn’t get rattled impressed me. He told me that he was leaving in the fall to go to Bible college to study to be an assistant pastor. I told him I was called to be a missionary and was leaving in a few months for Brazil to teach missionary children. I remember how kind, gentle and unassuming he was.
When I returned to my home in Milwaukee, I was surprised to find an email from my friends in VT stating that Brian had asked for and received my email address from them. Someone else also asked for my address, but Brian beat him to it!! Soon, Brian and I were corresponding. It was in one of these emails that Brian mentioned he believed the Lord could be preparing that “special one to be his wife” right then! (Ummmm….that was a bit much, but I wasn’t that scared.)
Knowing that I was leaving for Brazil in about a month, Brian asked for my telephone number, but conveyed to me that if I felt that was too soon, he would understand. During one of our phone conversations, Brian let it slip out that he felt “his future wife” was in Wisconsin which did scare me! I let him know in no uncertain terms that “We don’t really know that to be the case, so you ought not to be saying that!” (I thought, “Hmmm, he’s bold.”)
Years ago in one of my pastor’s sermons, I had been convinced that should the time come when it seemed a future husband might be on the horizon, I would like some outside help to discern the Lord’s will. There were some special friends in Connecticut from my younger years in the Lord who were now in Wisconsin with me. Since Brian and I had begun a rather steady correspondence by now, they suggested that he come out to Wisconsin to meet everyone. I wanted my friends help to spend time with Brian and to observe us as we got to know each other. Knowing me well, they could help evaluate if this might be God’s will for my life without me becoming too emotionally attached. I welcomed the perspective they would have.
CanU Canoe?
So in August of 2000, Brian came out to spend a few days. We went on a canoe trip with the church career group… in the rain…with the water level too low for enjoyable canoeing! We spent most of our time (we now call it “our first date”) under the water. . .tipping the canoe over. . .swerving out of the way of overhanging branches. . .getting stuck on sandbars. . .all the while having a steady stream of “conversation,” (i.e. shouts from Laura) to “push” or “pull” because that’s what you do when you grow up taking certified white-water canoe classes! I know I wasn’t the most pleasant person to deal with. Brian had never been in a canoe, and he secretly let out a “whoop” inside with suppressed laughter when I took a pretty bad dunk in the water as our canoe overturned yet again. By the end of the trip, he had some doubts about this gal, but still gave me his coat on the riverbank at the end of the trip because my lips were blue, and bought me some hot chocolate. (Awww. . . I know.) Again, his kindness.
Everyone could clearly see Brian’s love for the Lord. Even though he was still excited about the prospects for a future with me, I was uncertain. Together with counsel from my pastor, we decided it would be best not to communicate with each other while I was in Brazil and just see what the Lord would do from there.
Brian had gotten a Vermont Teddy Bear made for me earlier which had Proverbs 1:33 on it’s tee-shirt: “But whoso hearkeneth unto me (God) shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil.” He admired my courage going to Brazil as a single lady, and wanted me to have something to remember that God would keep me safe. I didn’t feel I should take it, because I didn’t want to give Brian the wrong impression, but my friend suggested that I should so I did.
Wifely material?
Brian drove back to NC and called me the day before I was to leave for Brazil. Since we’d agreed that it would be best if we didn’t communicate, I was kind of irritated. I really just wanted to focus on getting to Brazil. In the conversation, he proceeded to tell me that his purpose for coming to Wisconsin was to see if I would make the right kind of wife for the ministry. He listed many requirements. I thought he was going to end the conversation by saying that I didn’t “fit the bill” but he said the opposite! I didn’t quite know what to make of that, but I was a little pleased. Brian emailed my friends throughout his first semester in college in NC while I communicated with them from Brazil.
Brian surrendered to go to Africa during a missions conference at Bible college on November 3, 2000, although I was unaware of this. The next day, he wrote the decision in the flyleaf of his Bible. Right after that, he went outside to get the mail and found an oversized envelope from me. Before I left Wisconsin, Brian had given me some presents to give to the missionary children in Brazil. The envelope in the mail that day contained hand-made thank you notes from the children, and a thank you card from me. Brian prayed even more earnestly at this point!
Meanwhile, in Brazil, I held the memory of Brian in high esteem in my heart because he was so kind and gentle towards me. I often casually spoke of him when I got together with other people. It was while I was visiting a missionary during the Thanksgiving break in another region of Brazil that a peculiar thing happened. The father in the home where I was staying had been a missionary kid to Africa, and I had always been touched by missionary biographies I’d read concerning Africa, my very first being that of Mary Slessor. Very much out of the blue, this missionary invited Brian to come to Brazil to mentor under him for a month during the summer. He further extended an invitation for both of us to accompany him on a two week trip to Mozambique, Africa after that! Wow, what a surprise!
When I returned to my teaching, I had a conversation with my friend back in Wisconsin during which she told me that the Lord had just called Brian to be a missionary to Africa down at Bible college! (Hmmm, my attention was piqued.) Might the Lord be drawing us together? It definitely prompted me to ask if my friends thought we might be seeing Brian at Christmas since I knew I was coming home between semesters! (Hint-hint.) My friends said they would pray about it, and contact Brian.
Brian had similar desires. On December 3rd, he prayed that he would see me at some point during my stay in Wisconsin during the Christmas break. He then had his devotions and was reading Habakkuk 2:1-4, which says, “And the Lord answered me and said, Write the vision…For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.” Brian was impressed by these verses that not only would he be seeing me at Christmas, but would also be marrying me in the future. He wrote this too, in the flyleaf of his Bible. 😊
I left for the States in December not knowing if I would see Brian, but secretly hoping I would. He ended up coming to Wisconsin for almost two weeks in which we spent every day from early morning until late at night doing lots of interesting things and getting to know each other better. In the middle of the week, my friends mentioned to me that they thought this could be God’s will. They saw a lot of depth in Brian, and many of his qualities seemed to be a good match for me.
Having had somewhat of a rough life relationally, my heart was warmed; however, my pattern in the past would be to push people away from me if they were too kind. Yes, I know, this is strange and horrible! Somehow I don’t think I deserved something so good. This probably stemmed from being raised in a broken home. I think I was testing Brian, by being critical (though not consciously) to see if he would still stick around. (Thank God that he did!!)
I was praying and sensing that this was a step that God wanted me to take -that Brian might be God’s choice for me. As I surrendered to that, the Lord gave me more and more assurance, but I didn’t say anything to him. I did have many conversations with my friend. That couple poured a lot of time and love into me and into this time of making the second-most important decision of my life, apart from becoming a follower of Jesus Christ. I am deeply grateful for them!
Brian and I were invited to share a meal with a couple of other family friends of mine during this time. In a conversation with an another older, wiser woman she recommended reading “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian. Yes, I know, we weren’t married yet! But God used it to break my heart. I needed to apologize to Brian for treating him so poorly. I did this one morning in our friends’ dining room as I was sweeping the floor after we had all eaten breakfast together. Brian forgave me quickly and in fact, told me that he LOVED me. I don’t think I was quite ready for that, but this time when we parted we decided we would write each other!
We went to the airport, and “providentially,” Brian’s airplane had mechanical difficulties and his airline recommended that he fly on my Delta flight! We were able to sit together and later remarked how we felt like an old married couple already as we sat and ate our bagged lunches the airlines provided! Then, we waited together in the Atlanta airport for Brian’s flight to return to school in NC. I was flying on to Florida to spend a week with my mother before returning to Brazil. As Brian left to stand in line at the gate, I waved several times to him, and sensed a sweet tenderness between us. After he boarded his plane, I walked around the corner and burst into tears. It hit me hard as I sensed a hole in my heart where Brian had been.
Over the next few hours in somewhat of a daze, I began to have a deep conviction that there would be a wedding in the future! After all, I had believed that if a true gentleman said he loved you, a wedding should follow! I shared these things with my mother and then was able to call my friends and my pastor’s wife who somehow communicated with Brian who reached out to my brother to get my mother’s phone number in Florida! (Yeah, phew!) He rang the line, got down on his knees and asked for my hand in marriage. I accepted!
When I attended the College & Career class at Brian’s church in VT back in July of 2000, the teacher asked me to give a testimony at the end of the class. I was so surrendered to being single at the time (that’s another neat story about a special five month period of intense personal revival in my life) so I spoke to the class about being content to be single – the Lord had definitely gotten me there! I encouraged them to be excited about doing what God wanted them to do with their life. (Brian attended a different class at the time.) Little would I know that just eight months later I would be engaged! God does have a sense of humor!! His ways are not our ways!
Fuzzy Bunny Beauty 