The Blessing of Darkness- Loneliness, part 4 of 8

Enduring Prayer

Sunday, 5/24/20 the preaching by our pastor was convicting. https://lakewoodbaptist.church/sermon/why-we-must-constantly-pray/

I knew right away I was “in for it” as the Scripture passage was read and the phrase the “disciples were sleeping for sorrow” jumped out at me.  I’m thankful that I’ve never been one to sleep away my troubles (I like to work), but there is a type of “sleep” the devil knows about. I knew I was in a tempting spot that could derail me from my “bliss with the Lord.”  This sermon was more than the usual conviction of “I need to pray more.” The impression I received from the Lord was “Your life depends on this!”

Our pastor described the verses like a sandwich. The top piece of bread was Jesus commanding his disciples to pray that they would not enter into temptation.

Luke 22:40-46 “And when he came to the place, he said to them, “Pray that you may not enter into temptation.” 41 And he withdrew from them about a stone's throw, and knelt down and prayed, 42 saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.”  

In the middle of the sandwich, an angel came and strengthened Jesus!! I don’t remember reading that before!

43 And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. 44 And being in agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.[g] 45 And when he rose from prayer, he came to the disciples and found them sleeping for sorrow, 46 and he said to them, “Why are you sleeping? Rise and pray that you may not enter into temptation.”

Then, the bottom piece of bread in the sandwich was Jesus’ command the second time to pray and not enter temptation. The question becomes: Will I obey and pray, so that I can access one of the most powerful pieces of God’s armour (Eph 6:18 – notice it comes at the end!) to help me battle through these particular temptations during trials? Wouldn’t I want to receive God’s ministering grace as I persevere?  The disciples were “sleeping for sorrow.” May I not be. May I take my sorrow and pour my heart out to the Lord in prayer and receive His sweet presence in the midst.

At some point early on during all this, even my own words in the blog post “Resting and Relying” convicted my mind as I recalled how Jacob wrestled with the Lord all night. I’m sure prayer and loneliness were part of his struggle!!  God has put me to the test. The battle has been palpable.  On the positive side, however, this time is different than other times of temptation in the past because I recognize that I am engaging in the spiritual warfare for my soul’s rest, whereas I wouldn’t even be aware of the battle years ago. This is cause for GREAT rejoicing!!

This post contains the third area of temptation for me (and perhaps the biggest):

Loneliness

I have felt lonely during these years. Lonely through the sicknesses, lonely trying to figure out our married and family life, lonely IN the family (when I was single, a married friend told me that you can still feel lonely in a marriage – good thought) lonely in the physical pain, lonely in memory loss and how that affects keeping track of everything in our lives presently.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I even wrote down who I would consider to be my friends (has anyone else besides me done that??) and realized I’d “forgotten” some and over the next couple of days “remembered” them and then have made some new ones too. Memory has really wreaked havoc in a lot of ways!! I almost have a panicked feeling at times trying to discern how to keep in touch.  So much going on for them, for us, wanting to pray for them and encourage them from God’s Word as I am encouraged.

I have found increasingly more that Jesus is” a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” Proverbs 18:24b.

My relationship with Jesus needs to be so Rock-solid that I am shaken less when loneliness strikes.

I have quoted the first part of Proverbs 18:24 for many years, “He who hath friends must show himself friendly” and I would consider myself friendly. We also know though that we must also WORK at maintaining friendships: committing time, thought, prayer, and remembrance of what is important to our friends!! As my memory gets more and more confused, it is hard to keep straight what communication I DO need to keep up with and with whom. The memory aspect has added a very new dimension to the storms. Unless you’ve gone through it yourself it’s hard to understand. Also, it’s not something people really talk about until maybe after the person is gone.

Are you engaged in the battle for your “stuff”?

The Monday after the sermon as I was journalling about it and remembering that particular blog post words and my sense of overwhelm, I recalled the phrase, “God and God alone” and it kept coming into my mind. I suddenly realized it was a song from waaaay back when I first became a Christian in the Navy.  So, I looked it up and was refreshed as I remembered Steve Green and read a little bit about his life all these years that I have not listened to his music.  That was fun. Through the prompting, I knew that God was continually telling me He is sufficient! He wants to be ever-so-much-more than I can imagine.

I vacillate between feeling sorry for myself, and

blissfully sitting at Jesus’ feet learning.

I thought if anyone could help me learn how to change my perspective to one of eyes directed upward in loneliness it would be Richard Wurmbrand, the founder of Voice of the Martyrs. One of the results of his spending fourteen years in Communist prisons being hungry, beaten, tortured and in solitary confinement hearing nothing – not even a whisper – was his One Hundred Prison Meditations:

We had no books or writing materials, much less a Bible. We never saw a child, and seldom a woman. We saw no colors: our world was gray. The walls were gray, our uniforms were gray, even our faces were an ashen gray. During those long gray months, those leaden years, what did we think about? Certainly not about communism or about having to suffer.  Our minds were too childlike to be controlled by events.  We thought about things completely unrelated to the pains we endured. This is not to deny that everything in jail could be a problem. Will there be many worms in our soup today? Will it contain at least five beans, or perhaps a few more? Will we be allowed to use the toilet? Will I be beaten today? How should I mislead my interrogator so as not to denounce others and cause their arrest? Will I ever be freed? We had problems, but would not allow these to obsess us.

-Richard Wurmbrand

Years later, during a board meeting for VOM his granddaughter overhearing their melancholy discussion about mission problems while playing with toys nearby on the carpet asked what is ‘problem’ Where is the word ‘problem’ found in the Bible?” He replied, “Nowhere.” She said puzzled, “then why do you pastors worry about something that is not in the Bible?”

Wurmbrand continues: “In prison, our torturers could busy themselves with beating, starving and mocking, but the Christian prisoners were free to rejoice in the mysteries of the Word of God. With such things THEY kept busy.”

Jesus taught us to become like little children, to take a detached view of events, even tragic ones. We may bleed, we may be traumatized, but still we can experience joy in little things that might be considered childlike or unsophisticated.

-Richard Wurmbrand

So when our heart is “bleeding” with whatever trial the Lord has entrusted us, (and it is a privilege) let us spend more time, not less occupying ourselves with Him so we can weather the storm well!

Having wanted a bleeding heart plant for years, I recently bought one from someone. It didn’t have any blossoms on it. A few days after planting it in my garden, it blossomed ONE bleeding heart and has been the same ever since. I thought “That’s kind of like me.” Compare this picture to the one on my home page. May each of our bleeding hearts touch each other in significant ways, and may we all be connected to the Great Bleeder of Hearts on Calvary!!

God has given me multiple touchpoints of His great love for me to learn, learn, LEARN!! Although my subjects lately may be “darker” I truly believe that. May I never stop being receptive to His voice, having ears to hear and a heart to follow.

Your fuzzybunny